CAPSULE 1: #KEJORA2021

He and I; we get along well.

No strain or conflict and we lived together in a friendly, unruffled atmosphere. Had I been a somewhat different person, I might have held on to my sense of detachment for years- it’s only because I didn’t have the mind of a lover and I couldn’t bring myself to feel the awe of being loved. After all, I grew up as one the neglected ones; my heart has been made monstrously untouchable.
At first, he did struck to me as too clever, too cunningly aware of himself and his effect on others not to mention the confusion that he created. The common theme in the stories was deception, after all, playing people for fools-I felt that perhaps he could only be toying with me. I imagined falling for him will make my world turned into a deadly series of waiting and once again, he will always have the last word.


The difference between us was not that I understood the surrounding any better than he did (if anything, it was just the opposite), but that he was a great king and I wasn’t, which explained why he was the insane one and I was the romantic. He took the pleasure living in sophistiscation, a great man of refine, a genuine intetellectual who lives in the world of ideas while I divide my head on the ground and flying up the sky once when I need it to be.


For some reasons, after knowing him, it seems that he wasn’t the man everyone thought he would be. There were those subtle moments, words and gestures-something I couldn’t fathomed myself that made his intention seems believable. If you look into his eyes, the good and the bad, you will find our memories in them. In a way, throughout the time that we have spent together, we have ‘made’ each other to turn to become something other than ourselves but just right for the evening; connecting all sore, every sore, by thousand of lights in a mysterious circle, each an invisible lines, but together seeming to trace a single secret meaning of the evening.

Though I didn’t realise it, they were the happiest moment of my life. If I had recognised this wonderful moment of delight, I would have clung to it and never let it go. In that moment, on that particular evening when we were waiting for the sunset, we were free of sin and guilt, and the world seemed to be free of gravity and time.

-2020

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